Dating men forgetting about their woman

23-Mar-2020 13:18 by 3 Comments

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WHEN I told Tom*, a guy I was dating, that I didn’t want to see him any more as we ‘wanted different things’, he probably thought I meant marriage and commitment.You know, the things women are so unimaginatively accused of wanting more than men?

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But I soon got the wind knocked out of my sails when I opened up to friends and family about my newfound love life.

In reality, the things I want are fantastic nights out followed by lots of sex – but sadly they didn’t seem to top his list of priorities.

It might sound harsh to ditch someone because they’re happy simply cuddling on the sofa once a week, but as a single mum, my free time when I can actually leave the house is precious, and I certainly didn’t want to waste it watching telly with Tom.

I realise I’m not a teenager any more, but that doesn’t mean I want to fast-track to a relationship that involves arguing over the remote control when Match of The Day is on.

Then there is simply my lack of free time – my son goes to stay with his dad every other weekend, so I have precisely 48 hours a fortnight to have fun. In truth, I doubt we’re even seen as a great catch and imagine lots of people think I should just settle for whoever I’m lucky enough to get.

In fact, a single-mum friend was seeing a guy who used her ‘lack of spontaneity’ as an excuse for sleeping with someone else.

Now when I spot the word ‘spontaneous’ in a man’s dating profile, I swipe left.

And while I obviously ditched the dating sites while I was seeing Jack, I’m now on the verge of reactivating my profiles.

However, that initial burst of optimism has worn off – is it really worth dipping my toe in the water again?

It doesn’t get any easier as time passes, but a combination of wine, leaving some clothes on and having the lighting low works for me.

Things with Jack unfortunately fizzled out after a year or so – he was having a second youth of constant holidays and weekend breaks that I just couldn’t join in on, as much as I loved his approach to life.

I do realise this all sounds pretty depressing, but then, by some miracle, when I’d been single for around a year I met Jack* – someone I really liked who seemed to really like me.

  1. internet dating sites in northern ireland 21-Dec-2019 07:29

    Omdat ik nu geen deel uitmaak van Oranje en weer zin heb in een buitenlands avontuur, zei ik vrijwel meteen ja’, legt een enthousiaste De Wijn uit.