Dating someone with a boyfriend
Dating someone with a boyfriend - speed dating lake county il
After all, my favorite activities didn’t involve drinking and were done 100% sober—the Lake Shrine, the Griffith Park Observatory, the cool thrift store or diner in Topanga Canyon.Such dates opened me up to getting to know guys sober, on their end and mine, to see if we were a match.
"I think that's why dating your intellectual equal is so important.She said that it was challenging—she wanted a glass of cabernet with dinner now and then—and that the guy didn’t mind if she had one, yet she’d feel guilty if she did. I imagined them sitting around, playing a board game or drinking grape juice with their steak entrée.When I got to thinking about it, though, I’d gone on plenty of alcohol-free dates: coffee, hiking, biking, walking, movies, you name it.My mother didn’t drink much—but her boyfriends did.One left slurred messages on our home answering machine, encouraging her to “just leave ‘those little brats’ at home and meet me out at the bar.” Another could barely utter a coherent sentence when attempting to say hello to my brother and me.We were on Sunset Boulevard amidst a crowd of jovial Alice in Wonderlands and men dressed as The Golden Girls. She “stopped by” a lot, particularly when I was not around. He flipped my plastic tray and sent the bottles flying. The next morning, I said good-bye to him for good and made a vow to myself: no more alcoholics, and certainly no more enabling such guys by carrying around a tray of their vice. A few months earlier, when we had started dating, I ignored the hints that he was an alcoholic.
I watched as they shattered and decorated the asphalt like glitter. He drank a lot sometimes, sure, but I didn’t know just how much and that he often did so alone.
Plus, his face was flushed in most of them, a drinker’s blush on his cheeks. Guys like my ex were charming, nice and fun—until they didn’t know how to stop drinking and “a couple drinks before we go” turned into nearly a half-bottle of whiskey for them and a half-finished glass of wine for me.
They say we date who and what we know—consciously or unconsciously. My parents divorced when I was three and I didn’t grow up knowing my father.
Other women, however, crave the opposite in a partner.
"I need my man to be less smart than me," says one 27-year-old woman, who jokingly says she thinks the smarter partner controls the relationship.
When a guy can't keep up with her as she discusses the news, debates the merits of legal reforms, and cracks sarcastic, witty jokes, she notices that she immediately gets turned off.