Dating red flags
Dating red flags
It simply means they’ve been married and divorced, which could mean all sorts of things!There are amiable, civilized divorces, and then there are bitter, vindictive divorces—along with everything in-between.
So here goes -- one single mother's set of red flags when it comes to dating divorced men, culled from a very long decade of post-marital dating experience. Do be careful of the divorced man who is only recently out of his marriage.I once met a guy, in an airport, who was in his fifties, and had already married and divorced six times!Being previously married and divorced does not necessarily demonstrate a track record of commitment and responsibility.In case you're wondering, one divorced dad swept me off my feet (then dropped me over a ledge).Another captured my heart (and still holds it, most tenderly).Remember that mention of the divorced dad who swept me off my feet?
All I can say is this: Listen to your gut, listen to your gut, listen to your gut -- no matter what others think and how good things seem on the surface. Below is a list of some of the red flags I've discovered. Some of these items might not be deal-breakers for you; if the issue is okay with you, then there is no problem. See if you can identify personally with any of these red flags. The person comes on strong at the beginning of the relationship, and tells you exactly what you want to hear. Narcissists can be very intense in their pursuit, and many of them have learned exactly what to say to pull you in, such as, "I've never felt as connected with anyone else as I feel with you," or "You are the most amazing person I've ever met.I can see that no one has ever really seen you." For many narcissists, the pursuit is everything and once they have you hooked, they are either off to another pursuit, or they become more and more demanding of you. The person becomes angry, critical or withdrawn if you say no. Narcissists need constant attention and often become very upset and punishing if you don't give them what they want. The person becomes logical and tries to talk you out of your feelings or your experience.He or she tries to make you feel that you are wrong for your feelings or your position.This is another narcissistic trait: the belief that only his or her feelings and opinions are valid, and that differences pose a threat. The person talks on and on about himself or herself and doesn't ask much about you, or is uninterested when you do talk about yourself. This person is not interested in you or your feelings.They will change if they want to, but you can't make them change. Many of my very kind clients, in trying to help their partner, have been used and burned by loaning money, or by allowing their partner, who is not earning money, to live with them. If you have a trust issue in general, then you might want to deal with your issue. The person has no close friends and is not close to family.