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Over a three-day period, she analyzed more than 400 such ads.
"They're like gummy candy in my mouth." Or as one Dallas woman recently put it on Craigslist: "Hey, ladies, I'm 36 and married to a douche.It can be lonely in Las Vegas — so lonely, a single 23-year-old woman is looking for a new bestie on Craigslist."There are guys all over the place to have fun with," she laments in an anonymous post, "but I wish I had a friend to go shopping and to concerts with me or to get our nails done ...someone I can talk to about my boy problems, maybe hear about hers." Oh, and one more thing!"As the years went by, it was clear that these were not exceptions but pretty common behaviors."Often, she's found that women aren't trolling for random girls at bars but falling into bed with "a close hetero-sexual friend" because "their feelings are so strong emotionally that they kind of spill over into the physical realm."The first girl who Allie, a 31-year-old artist from Kentucky, hooked up with was a longtime friend on a trip to the friend's family cabin.The next time, she was wooed by a fellow bridesmaid in a mutual friend's wedding at a lakehouse bachelorette party.Ruby says her magnetic attraction to women has made her question whether she's a lesbian. "If I had a relationship with a female, wouldn't it be like having your bestie over all the time? "For some, like Nicole, a 31-year-old journalist in Cleveland who says she's "one hundred percent straight," hooking up with other women in no-strings-attached situations is a way to explore what turns her on in a safe, no-boys-allowed kind of environment."When I hook up with men, it's because I want to date them, so there's a level of awareness [during sex] in wanting things to work out," she says. "There's fear among some lesbian women that [straight yet fluid] women are just going to mess around with them and break their hearts," says Trish Bendix, the editor-in-chief of After Ellen.com, a popular lesbian-focused website. "I guess I don't label myself because I don't want others to label me either."In the future, sexual labels may die altogether, Diamond predicts.
She adds that many younger members of the lesbian community support women's right to "love who they love," but there are also concerns that fluid women are down for gay sex, but not the struggle that can come with being gay or bi: "I hear from a lot of women who want others to identify and be on our team." Allie says she has unintentionally confused a few female hookups. In the early '90s, the idea of being unlabeled didn't even exist.It seems like every day there's a new form of online dating.No matter what type of relationship you're looking for — from the forever kind to the friends-with-benefits kind — there's an app for that!Instead, year after year, the women said things like, "That was an amazingly powerful relationship with Anna, but I'm pretty sure I'm still straight."Many straight women who occasionally sex other women insist they're not lesbians — because they only want to date men.And they're not bi either; they don't want to date both genders seriously. let's make each other feel good for a little bit, then I'll learn more about what I like too.'" This never backfires — except when it does. Sometimes that person is a man, and sometimes that person is a woman; sometimes that person is short, and sometimes that person is tall," she says.Many ads toss out invites for girly activities like mani-pedis and brunch.