Dating a paraplegic man
Dating a paraplegic man
That way your date can decide if that’s a factor or not. You need to decide whether or not it’s appropriate, depending on your age and relationship level.In my case, the secret to success for being married has been knowing Joy so well – we both understand each other’s strengths and weaknesses and play to those.
'Once he saw I was in a wheelchair, he immediately wouldn't look me in the eye for the rest of the night and we basically spent the whole date ignoring the elephant in the room,' she said.
'It was the most uncomfortable date I've ever been on and felt really forced.' Finally, at the end of the evening, she addressed the situation, leading the guy to admit that he 'didn't know how to talk to someone in a wheelchair' — despite the fact that they'd been getting on so well in their conversations on Tinder for two weeks.'Sometimes they would literally say something like, "Well, can you still have sex?
" And I wanted to say, "Of course I can, a*****e,"' she said.
That may have been the case 31 years ago when I was first injured, but it no longer is.
Joy and I tried the old-fashioned way first, and that didn’t work. Make sure though, that when you do cross over into a more intimate relationship with someone special in your life, that you plan ahead before spending the night together.
This way, she felt she wasn't being deceptive, but she also gave people a chance to notice other things about her first.
That meant that her first Tinder date ended up being with a guy who didn't know about her disability.
Usually within 2 or 3 sentences, they no longer see the wheelchair; they see me. After my own injury, I went through three phases while dating — Q: Got any suggestions for a first date? Go somewhere you’ve been before that you’re already comfortable with, that you know is accessible and where you can get around comfortably.
If you go to the movies, decide whether you want to stay in your chair or transfer into a seat. [where you can’t sweat] When I’m with my wife, Joy [who is able-bodied], we plan outings and events around what we can do together, not what we can’t.
Bert strives to reach out to others through public speaking because, more than anything, he wants to give other people in wheelchairs the same encouragement that he has received. There’s all kinds of reasons that people choose not to date someone, that’s ok. When I see people, I say from my wheelchair, “Hey, how are you doing?
Bert says, “I hope to convince patients in wheelchairs that they can still do all the things they want to do and more. Sure you’re rolling now instead of walking, but your personality is what people date – not your legs. For every five that won’t date you, there’s 50 others that will. ” And they immediately think, “Hey, he can talk, too!
If you’re going to be spending the night somewhere, make sure you bring a bed bag to switch out from your leg bag, if you use one.