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When I challenged him, he was embarrassed and then defensive saying it was just harmless flirting and that he had not gone over any line.
You might benefit from going to counselling especially if you feel traumatised and need to the help of an impartial listener to process some of the feelings.
To move forward, it is important that you continue to talk to your husband and try to understand the extent of his difficulties and what the underlying issues are for him.
At the heart of the problem of online “infidelity” is the fact that it is usually done in secret and without the partner’s knowledge – even with infrequent access this secrecy can reduce the intimacy between the couple and can be a first step on the road to bigger betrayals.
A second issue for a marriage is that one partner turns to the internet for flirting and sexual excitement rather than to their partner.
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ASK THE EXPERT: QI have been married 10 years and we have four children aged 9, 7, 6 and 4.
There is a good chance of success for the two of you, if your husband accepts responsibility for what he has done and if the two of you are willing to work hard on improving your marriage.
Take some time out together You can also take action at home to improve your marriage on a daily basis.
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